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Case 34

The Naming of Names

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The priestess Suku was reviewing the software of her novices when she found a module whose variable names displeased her immensely. Value Objects were called vo or simply obj, regardless of type. Lists were named list1, list2, etc. The respective Iterators were called i, j, and (for no fathomable reason) x.

The priestess strode into the temple kitchens where the novices were preparing the evening meal. She unhooked an immense rice paddle from its peg, found the offending developer, and let vent her displeasure on the boy’s backside.

“What have I done?!” yelped the novice as the paddle landed with a meaty smack for the tenth time.

“Invective!” answered the priestess. “Verb your expletive nouns!”

This scene was repeated each night until the novice was enlightened.

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